Kuttsywood's Couch: 24/7: July 1, 2026, Take One: The Wednesday, is Sydney

Welcome, to 24/7.

This is indeed the second coming of a concept originally explored in Kuttsy’s Pitch X-Two in November 2024. This time round, it’s four metropolitan news bulletins: the four that traditionally would have been part of a Australian Content Survey Live season, alongside Brisbane (who is currently awaiting it’s date with Boston in September’s inaugural Content Survey Live World Championships, and will not be part of this event).

The plan for 24/7 is as follows:

The city order in this event is in reverse finishing order from Content Survey Live: Yesterday’s Hero last year.

This means:

Night 1: Sydney.

Night 2: Melbourne.

Night 3: Adelaide.

Night 4: Perth.

The day, they have all been chosen to cover, is the first day of the new financial year: July 1, in the middle of the week, with no interference from local skewing factors (team lists, State of Origin and the like)

The rules are simple.

-Intros to stories don’t count.

-Locally sourced stories in the body of the bulletin (defined, as from after the first intro post-opener, to the ultimate sports preview) not only grab points (1pt for a voiced over story, 2pts for a live cross, and 3 points for a full story), but must also be timed.

-National stories, traffic and weather reports do not count toward the total.

-Meanwhile the following applies here for sports stories: 0 points for overseas sports news, 1pt for Australian-relevant voiced over sports news and 2pts for Australian-relevant full sports news stories (that can be doubled if a sports reporter gets their mug on the box on a market-sourced/relevant story). These stories do not need to be timed.

The total numbers will be tallied (local story points total+total time of stories+sports story points) to give a final number, the highest one wins this event, and becomes the Australian reserve for a event in 2027, if Brisbane loses the Content Survey Live World Championships.

Let the games begin… with Sydney.

We open tonight's news, with falling property prices in Sydney (3pts), a upcoming ICAC inquiry (3pts), a newsroom live cross concerning a significant employment story concerning a 51 year old former Gold Logie winner (2pts), a car chase on the Central Coast (1pt), charges related to a shooting spree earlier in 2026 (1pt), A live cross from U-GO Rozelle (2pts), a refund scam at Mr Wongs goes to court (1pt), the reconfiguration of Moore Park Golf Course (3pts), metered parking plans for Randwick beaches sunk (1pt), Shark drones launched (1pt), Riverwood auto arson (1pt) and this curious guest in Double Bay (1pt).

The body of the bulletin had as follows:
7 voiced over stories (for 7 points), two live crosses (for four points) and three full stories (for nine points), which added up to a running time of 8 minutes and 47 seconds of local stories (converted to a numeric score of 8 and 3/4)
The total score for the body of the bulletin was: 28 and 3/4.

We now head into sport, with a Maya Joint victory over Serena Williams full sports story airing in the body of the bulletin (2pts), a trip to the Blues SOO camp in Kingscliff (2pts), Panthers training (1pt), Socceroos Round of 32. (2pts)...

Hit it, Jimmy.

Mexico V Ecuador and France V Sweden (0pts), Sydney Swans training (1pt), Maya Joint redux as part of wider Wimbledon piece (2pts), Womens T20 World Cup (1pt)

The scores for the sports segment 3 voiced over pieces (for a score of three points), four full sports stories (for a score of eight points)
The combined sports score: 11 points.

The overall score for Sydney tonight: 39 3/4.

Sydney's July 1, sets the stage for everybody else.

Well, that’s it for the first night of 24/7.

We leave you with the anthem of EOFYS… thanks to three drunk monkeys... wait, that’s the name of the agency that got tasked with it all those years ago.